White Birds

Ok. A lot to catch up on.

First las Estacas. Went with Dany, four of her sisters, her nephew, and two boys. I will describe it in three words - clear, fresh water. The water comes all of the way from Popo, a volcano, but is literally birthed from underground into what has now been named as Las Estacas. The property is now privately owned, but there are rivers and canals of water that run for miles. All perfectly clear, clean, shining. Full of flora and fauna. The current pushes you through. Animals, trees, flowers. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

(The whole where the water is born from)

What next...Estela´s friends came to visit from the states. We took a trip to Taxco - land of silver. I literally felt as if I was in Europe. Because this town was literally built over a silver mine,it attracted many Europeans of high status in the past. Therefore, they designed it accordingly. Cobble stone streets, small alley ways, uniquely designed windows - this place definitely had its on touch. Europe but inhabited with Mexicans....whhaaat??? Where am I? And silver! UP to my ears and back. Shops do not sell anything else. If you do not sell silver you are unemployed in Taxco. Beautiful place. If you want to define beauty by European colonialization, domnation, and sobordination. Makes you think twice. Anyways,worth the trip to see once. I have pics - will upload them shortly.

Oh,and did I mention that Toño came knocking on the door at 10pm asking Estela if she could take Dylan to the emergency room, cause he fell and had a deep cut above his eye. That was fun...He´s fine now, gracias a díos...

Today a group of twelve came from San Fran. state. We took them to Xochicalgo and then went to Cuentepec to eat lunch.

It was weird to hang with Americans again, and to speak English. One of the girls had a daughter who was five years old, and I was shocked at the differences between her and Mexican children her age. She was very closed minded, bratty, and guided by materialism. Ah, scary...Also a bit surprising about the Chicanas. Huge disconnect from their past and history and ancestors with who they are and their identies and Mexican-American women. Sad, really. I think it is because American culture, and education system, tend to squash and invalidate the customs and traditions they come from instead of promote and support them. People begin to have shame of them instead of pride. Aye, qué vamos a hacer????!!!!

Cuentepec is my breath, my air, my freedom. I immediately feel free when I go to Cuentepec. It is relieving and comforting for me to hear people speak their native tongue, woman walk through the streets in their native dress, eat simple yet delicious food, and be surrouded by kind, dear-hearted people who want nothing but for you to enjoy your time and space. Cuentepec is really a special place with very special people, and I hope with all of my might this will not be destroyed in 15 years due to globalizaiton, modernization, etc et.c. I can only hope and pray.

Oh, and how can I forget! Last night a healer came to the house to do a limpia because we have encountered a bit of negative male energy. The woman was walking with her sahumador in hand, stoped by me, and asked if she could touch me. i allowed her to, and she began to give me a limpia. she moved energy through my neck, blew copal over my body, and touched her head to mine, all the while making noises and blowing energy onto my body.

Afterwards she asked me to look her in the eyes. After looking at me for about three minutes, she began to speak to me. She told me that I am filled with love, nd have a lot of love to give. That my aura is amber and i will be hugged by many big trees. that my name is white bird and i will be surrounded by much light. that i will return to the states with wonderful energy. that i am sensitive, but must stand my ground.

she said it all. saw right through me. she knew nothing about me and i have never met this woman in my life. powerful. fascinating. amazing. wow. she also sensed my interest in healing and asked me about it. she asked if i talk to and her the spirits, and when i said no, she asked me why. i told her i was scared and she told me i must get rid of all of my fear. all of it.

she also read my mind and told me she knew i wanted to come to her house and talk with her more. she told me she didnt have time. interesting.

okay, i think this is enough for now. will write more later with fotos!
good night.

Kitties and Trees

This is Dumba. I found her on the street. She lives here now. She needs a home though. Pretty cute...


A tree in Tepotz! I LOVE TEPOTZ!!!

Hurt

Life, the truth, can be bien duro. Hard. And hurtful. Inside, the type of hurt that presses against your chest so that you feel like you can´t breathe properly. The type of hurt that is just there, close to your heart, and there it lays, until it decides to fly away.

It twas this hurt that came to me today. No one hurt me, necessarily, but I felt the hurt of others. We all have two sides, Estela tells me, one positive side that we all wish to nourish and one negative that we fear. Very similar to Buddist philosophy...And we all aim to portray our positive side to others. But the negative side exists. And it can come out at any time of the day, and for this we must be careful. My grandmother, for example, as I always knew her, was one of the happiest people I had ever met, full of life and adventure. One day that all changed, however. A certain wind had hit her in which froze her soul. She had no more will to enjoy the world like she once had. And así she left the world.

It is learning how to feed our nourished sides that we must challenge ourselves to do. It may be risky, but as Estela tells me day in and day out, one gains nothing without risk. We talked for hours this afternoon, one thing after another. About values, people, stories, life changes, challenges, sickness, risk, self-esteem and how society kills it, etc. etc.

I learned that I am being pulled by someone that I have come to love very much, and must learn to stand my ground grow my roots, so that our friendship can continue but that I too can stand by her side without being pulled. So that we can support and push eachother to our limits, but without pulling one person one way or another.

It is hard for me to collect my thoughts, energies, reflections, of all we talked about, maybe some more will come later, but for now I need to at least jot some of it down.

Tears, a lot of tears today. Tears for myself, but more importantly others. Yes, its hard, and hurtful, Estela assures me, but it is important we feel it, identify it, and learn to navigate it so that a part of it does not get stuck in a mud hole.

Yes, many of us are sick, have been abandoned, and are in need of love and care. It wll be my role when the students from Pitzer arrive here to document everything, so tht what is taught, which will be a curriculum unfound in a University setting, can be passed on to others, again and again and again. I am excited and scared. I think it will be very powerful and could potentially have significant effects on others. In all of the right ways...

Estela can be agressive, tough, and strict. When she was talking to me today her eyes were like stones. I could not read into them, could not see past them. My heart felt wide open with my tears pouring out, but with her eyes sealed shut, I could only listen, intently, and learn.

It is time for me to get to know myself so that I can help othrs to know themelves and then, then, we together can begin to to wonderful things for the world, our families, friends, enemies, communities, neighbors, etc. So that one day...we can relearn how to learn.

My KIDS!!!

Doing yoga....so cute!!!!!
Every Saturday, 5 - 6 pm. Typically Temezcal afterwards. Then tea and fruit with honey! Yummy...and they LOVE it!!!

A Playground

La casa de Estela...

Is a playground for the kids next door.
We make forts in the back of the truck.
The driveway is the ocean.
Jorge was the shark.
Then I was the mom.
And we were camping in the car.
We swept it out and put down a mat so that we wouldn´t have to get dirty.

La casa de Estela is a playgroud for the kids next door.
A mansion, almost.

Here we eat carrots, quesadillas, fruit, and milk.
There, bread candies.

Here they play with rocks, stones, musical instruments.
There, with their toys and the T.V.

La casa de Estela is a playground for the kids next door.
A mansion almost.

24.
24 years.
24 years old.

Is the age of their mom. Andrea is going to be nine.
Only two years older than me.

With four children.
All laughing, screaming, crying, fighting, and playing.

24 years old.
Four children.
One already nine years old.

La casa de Estela is a playground for the kids next door.
A mansion almost.

But, whether we are here, or there,
we all enjoy eachother´s company.
We talk, laugh, and play.

La casa de Estela is a playground for the kids next door.
A mansion, almost.

Four. Cuatro.

I will write this blog in both English and Spanish, as both languages are now a part of my life.

Today is a special day. I have now been here for four months. My fourth moon, my fourth menstruation. And today I felt it. Felt it all. Sitting in the Temezcal with Estela and her fried Angelica, giving thanks for my presence, I suddenly became aware of myself, the temezcal, and the symbolism of our presences.

I could actually feel the four elements running through my body. The heat, the water, the air, and the earth. Sitting on the dark floor, touching the earth,feeling the heat of the rocks and the warm air circulating the small area. The cold water splashing on my face, neck, chest, and back. Again, again, and again.

The Temezcal may be a small space, but signifies so much! A space of warmth and healing that can be shared with many. Before I felt a bit disconnected because the temezcal was a practice of ancestors that are not directly my own. However, I have become to realize that we are all connected somehow, in someway, and although this pracice may not be directly connected to my persoal hertiage, it is to be shared with all. I feel so blessed to be here. Learning, feeling, seeing, doing so much.

Today the Temezcal brought back memories of my first Temezcal when I arrived. I was scared, and timid. I was scared of the cold water and not sure what to think of the heat. I now embrace the heat and cold water, as it clears, cleanses, and renews my energy, thoughts, actions, etc. I have grown a lot since I have arrived and will continue to grow from here. Gracias a todas/os.

Spanish Version...Versión Español...

Hoy es un día especial. He estado aquí por cuatro meses. Mi cuatro luna, mi cuatro menstruación. Y hoy me lo sentí. Lo sentí todo. Sentando en el Temezcal con Estela y su amiga Angelica, dando gracias por mi presencia, de repente, yo di cuenta de mi mismo, el temezca, y el simbolico de nuestas presencias.

Yo pude sentir los cuatro elementos corriendo entre mi cuerpo. El calor, el agua, el aire, y la tierra. Sentando en el piso obscuro, tocando la tierra, sentiendo el calor de las piedras y al aire tibio en el área pequeño. El agua frio salpicando en mi cara, cuello, pecho, y espalda. Otra vez, otra vez, otra vez...

Aunque el Temezcal es un pequeño espacio, significa mucho. Un espacio de calor y sañando en que puede ser compartido con mucha gente. Antes me sentí un poco desconectado porque el Temezcal era un practica de herencias en que no son mios. Sin embargo, He dando cuenta que somos conectados, y aunque este practica no es directamente mio, puede ser compartido con todo. Me siento bendijo aquí. Aprendiendo, setiendo, veindo, haciendo todo...

Hoy el Temzcal me recordí memorias cuando metí por el primer vez. Tenía miedo. Tenía miedo del agua frio y no estaba seguro sobre el calor. Ahora abrazo el calor y agua frio, porque limpian todo y renueven todo de mi energía, pensamientos, y acciones. He crecido mucho desde que llegué y continuaré a crecer de aquí. Gracias a todas/os.

Pics...from the past...

The Magnificent Popocatepetl!!!




The Magical Posa!!!

Humbled

I feel elated, humbled, relaxed, in awe. A bit lost for words. What a day!

We opened up the house to the community so that they could come and enjoy food and a temezcal. It was calm at first. Two teens came, I went in the Temezcal, was lying on the grass, and Boom! The action began.

Six children came for a yoga class!

I wasn´t really sure where to begin, and it all felt a bit akward at first, but all ofthe sudden it clicked! I was shocked. The kids LOVED it, and what they loved more than anything was the mediation at the end! I told them to close their eyes for a minute, and when I finally opend my eyes a minute later, they were still super concentrated in sitting like a Budda with their eyes closed. Quieren sentar con sus ojos cerrados por otro minuto, les pregunté. Do you want to sit with you eyes closed for another minute? YES, SIIIII!!!! They answered. It was really a beautiful moment, sitting there with our eyes closed in silence. I don´t think children are often given the opportunity to sit in silence and enjoy the peace of the moment.

After yoga, all six children went into the temezcal with Estela!!! By the time they got out, they were all super relaxed, lying with Estela wrapped in their towels drinking their tea. It was a really special moment.

And initially, they were all so timid to do both yoga and enter into the temezcal. For example, when they arrived, I told them to take off their shoes. Do whhhaaat??? They looked at me quizzically. By the end of the day, however, they were all playing WITHOUT shoes.

They also weren´t too sure about going into the temezcal, but they all went in again later with Estela´s aunt!!! And then showered together outside afterwards. Pure fun. I am not sure how to explain it, but children here seem to enjoy and appreciate more than the majority of children i have encountered in the U.S. For example, after the temezcal, they all ate fruit, and were soooooo excited and appreciative. Where is my fruit??? Naomi demands. Children here are also so grown up. Andrea is nine and is practically the mom of her two younger brothers and sisters. Same with Kimberly. These girls take better care of their siblings than their own mothers. They have suffered a lot, but are very mature at the same time. Andrea was taking out a huge bag of trash this afternoon, one of the girls who came for yoga was cleaning up after all of the children´s messes...picking up towels, etc. So many peole all around...watching...Pepe not knowing a life like this exists in the house next door to his own. The sister of one of the young boys, shy, simply watching all. The old woman, Estela´s aunt, sitting in the temezcal for hours. Tomasia, working her butt off cleaning, helping Estela, making food, etc. Angelica frolicking around. Estela in every corner. Magna talking with the gay man in her see-through bra....kids running in and out. tea here, apples there, toritllas everywhere!

Love. The neighbors next door are in need and Estela gives it to them. Tomasita was shocked that Estela had welcomed so many children in and fed them, etc. Estela simply tells her, well if I don´t, who will? And these children need kindness in their lives, they need someone to take care of them, feed them, love them, play with them, etc. I admire Estela a lot for this.

Also, elders treat children like their peers. They do not tend to talk down to them. They talk to them as adults, and there seems to be a mutual respect surrounding this issue. Children respect their elders, a lot. Such a different life here. People have values, cultures, customs, and practices that very much so lack in the U.S. People have roles, and purpose. Something I have felt a lack of back home.

I could go on forever and ever. So much to see, be aware of, and learn from. And I will only continue to be immersed in more and learn more and more and more...So much to learn from children, as they watch everything and tell us exactly what they see. We need to listen to them.

Not Sure Where to Begin...

Goodness!

So much has happened since Friday....how do I even keep you updated???

Okay, so Friday was el dia para los niños...Saturday....oh! I went to a march/protest!!! People were saying there were about 10,000 people there, but it definitely didn´t seem like it. We marched for two hours in the streets, protesting Felipe Calderon and that the people are given more/better opportunities for work.

Fun, but exhausting at the same time.

(La Marcha!)




Saturday evening I headed to Cuentepec for a wedding. The wedding of a friend of Dany. It was the youngest couple I have ever seen get married, but that´s the way it´s done in Cuentepec!

(Dany, the bride, and the bride´s twin!)

We arrived to the house already filled with about 200 people, and were sat down and handed plates of mole as well as coke´s and beers. We ate, and then the music/party began!

(Yes, the bride and groom with their faces in the cake...definitely the most cake I have ever seen in my life....there were probably about 20 in total!)

This wedding was definitely different than any wedding I have ever been to, but none the less, was a cultural learning experience. There were LOTS of games and LOTS of dancing. For one of the games, the novia (bride) put on a cowboy hat and was given a belt and the groom was given an apron, broom, and baby. Then the bride began to hit the groom with a belt, making of fun of stereotypical gender roles...

We danced until about 1 in the morning and then off to Dany´s house to bed. Well, pìctures, and then bed...

(Dany,her mama, and her sisters, minus two...)

(La familia...or at least part of it...)

Sunday I got bit by a dog, yes I am okay, and we had four lovely ladies over for the Temezcal and massages. And what do I know, but here we are at Monday again....